I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
A near by cop patiently waits and watches as the man fumbles in his pockets and drops his keys. The #man proceeds to spend 5 minutes trying to unlock the door, another 10 turning on and off the headlights, a few more turning the #window wipers on and off....
How did the hipster drown?
Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Wife: “What does that mean?” Husband: ” #Adorable, #beautiful, #cute, #delightful, #elegant, #fashionable, #gorgeous, and hot.” Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”