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Thieves Make Off With Museum’s Most Valuable Docents

#CHICAGO—In what is being described as a sophisticated and well-executed heist, thieves stole nine of the Art Institute of Chicago’s most valuable docents in broad daylight this morning, according to museum and law enforcement officials. “At approximately 10:45 a.m., a number of perpetrators were able to disable our security...

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Street Harasser Haunted By Woman Who Got Away With Dignity Intact

Regretting his failure to take advantage of the perfect opportunity, local street harasser Jason Foster told reporters Wednesday that he continues to be haunted by the woman who got away with her dignity intact.

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